Sudden random confession whoa

Monday, December 07, 2009, 12:10 AM

I hope things will go by as slow as how bicycles go.

Feeling random again. I'm generally a person who loves to think.
I always think think think. Sometimes, think too much.
I also dunno what I'm thinking about at times.
Random stuff. Hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Today, I thought: "Why must I be the one who knew God since young? I haven't "enjoyed" life!"
Then, a voice in my head: "He doesn't want you to "enjoy" the wrong things in life. You'll regret if you did."
I thought: "True... But I still don't get how He chose me out of so many million people."

Later in the day, my teacher was talking to us (youth members) over dinner.
One of his sentences caught my attention.
"You know why God let all of you know him this young? It's because He loves you."

At that moment, I felt like crying. I mean.. if it wasn't for His love, I might not be where I am now. I had my rebellious days. Even now, I am sorta rebellious still. But it's because of His teachings, I refrained myself from being worst.
If I hadn't known God or became a Christian... many terrible things would have happened.
I will be one of those lians you see outside.
Thick makeup, loose clothings, killer heels, smoking.
I would have done naughty stuff too.
Having sex, getting pregnant, being a single mum at a damn young age.
Stealing, robbing, pickpocketing, vandalizing, getting drunk.
I dunno! I mean, seriously, I'm not a good little girl at all.
I love being bad.

But you know, as a Christian, I'm restricted.
Thank God for that. Or else I think by now I'll not be here anymore. Probably in jail? Lol.

My biggest sin was to steal and be intimate with my guy.
Yea, this is kinda like a confession to the world. But heck, dare to do, dare to admit.

I used to love stealing. I once stole this jacket that costs a bomb. LOL.
I stole people's stuff. I stole my cousin's Gameboy (but returned to him after that la.)
I stole my parent's money. I stole a SIM card. I stole makeup.
I stole hair clips, bracelets, anklets, necklaces. I stole alot of stuff that I can't recall.
But my addiction stopped when I grew older. I learned to control myself. And of course, God's words touched me.

Then, another sin grew upon me. Being intimate with my boyfriend.
Well, of course I know the main rule is not to have sex. So I am obviously still a virgin -.-
But we went to a stage where we.. you know.
I regretted. And I'm still regretting. I've allowed people to violate myself. How dumb.......
I felt cheap. I felt like I'm a slut you know. For months, I felt so... down, depressed, useless.
I didn't wanna go to church because I'm ashamed. I just couldn't bring myself to be happy.
After months of having these feelings, I approached my youth teacher.
I asked her if my actions were forgivable or not.
And she gave me a talk about relationships.. I felt so awaken. It's like, I've grown all of a sudden.
She said that God forgives you. Though all these sins will still be written in the Book. Just remember, for your next relationship, don't make the same mistake. Holding hands and kissing and cuddling are still fine. Beyond that, it's a big no-no.
My mind instantly opened, my heart immediately freed.
I mean, which God is as forgiving as mine? How can I forget that?
So yea........... I guess that's why this whole year, the reason why I'm not attached........
Is cause' God blocked away all those relationship stuff. He allowed me to take a break.
Heh.

Anyway, those were just really random thoughts. In a day, I can have hundreds of those lengthy random thoughts. HEHE. I am weird but I luv being that weird ;)

K is going for OBS trip tmr. Sad. Means no one to sms random stuff to anytime.
I wonder wad made us so close all of a sudden. Maybe it's cuz' of RANDOM again.
I luv being random too. Hahahaha. He also v random lor. Heh. Ah well........
I nearly went for OBS can! But I figured out tht I'll be like damn busy la.
So I didn't sign up eventually :( Or else I'll go thre w him lol. Okay, wad exactly am I sad for?! -.-
Hope he's safe thre. Adventure camps always hurts.
Btw, nth much is gng on. It's juz.............. random :)
I want friendship more than relationship now.
I'm kinda scared of failing in a relationship y'know. Stunned? ._. I am! HAHAHA.

May this fear go away when my prince comes for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D

Choices

Friday, December 04, 2009, 11:36 PM

People are always given choices. So, what should I choose?

Eventful day. More than I've expected.

Morning, CLDDS meeting. 4 pathetic souls. 3 guys 1 girl (me).
How sad. We discussed about the hoodie and chalet. And tadaa, it ended -.-
Freak, nothing done to script because we won't be having performance anyway.
Rofl. Oh well -.-

12pm. Went w/ TSD peeps to Tmart, Macs.
Talked and laughed alot as usual. I juz luv them to bits ^^
They never fail to bring me back to life. Always making me laugh!
Then it started to rain and we got stuck. So Pris have to make her way to find us instead. Heh!
Discussed much about 'Hungry'. I AM STARTING TO LUV THIS PLAY.
It fits being Mui Choo.
The part where she is trying to complete tasks she never did when she's alive.
I'm always trying to do things I regret not doing.
Good luck for our group R.A.M.M.P.S! :)

Raining. Meeting ended. Off to expo.
Met K cuz he wanted to go for a sale which apparently ended but we didn't know.
LOL. So in the end, went to 'Penguin Book sale'.
OMG THE BOOKS ARE CHEAP. SERIOUSLY DAMN FREAKING CHEAP!!!
:D :D :D :D :D
I bought 5 books. Each for $3. All from the 'little black dress' collection.
COOL OR NOT ? :P
Then we walked around aimlessly and decided to have dinner @ subway.
AND GUESS WAD?
I SAW MY UNCLE!!
Holy cowwwwwwwwwwwwww. Freaked out like shitz.
Seriously. My family. They're the last ppl I wanna see on an occasion like this!
Them seeing me with a guy = GG
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. Lucky my aunt wasn't there.
Or else, I don't need to step into my house.
My aunt will tell my mum. That's the end of my life.
LOL. Okay, exaggerated a bit but....... still......... SCARY SHIT.

6-7pm. Went off to take MRT. Took the long route back.
I wonder why I accepted that offer. Haha.
But okay la... I enjoy talking to him. It somehow, makes me feel good.
Okay I know my vocab sucks but good is juz e word for it k.
Yada yada. He got off at his stop and I headed for church.

Church. THE KIDS WERE IRRITATING ME.
As in, they really can't control their movements or smth??
Screaming. Jumping. Walking around. Talking. Laughing. Playing instruments.
FREAK. CAN'T THEY JUZ LISTEN AND NOT BE IN THEIR OWN WORLD.
IT IS A REHEARSAL. I hate it when they don't listen and make noise.
AND I HAVE TO SHOUT. I really hate getting angry.
I don't like to be angry, I don't want to be angry! :(
Okay. Juz some rants. HAHA.

Overall. Today gave me more insights into my life.
It's so messy and complicated. Like many strings bundles together.
And everyday I live in it like it's nothing.
How ah? So weird ppl do that everyday.

"One never realises the goodness in something until it's lost."

Feels good

12:30 AM

It feels like I'm on the swing. Just, high.

Today juz feels... good. I dunno. I felt that I've got a "life" so to speak.
I went out for a movie!!! Okay. That is life to me, at least. Lol!
I haven't really gone out purely for leisure you know!
There's always something on before or after it.
Well, though watching "Cat, lost and found" was for TSD... I ENJOYED IT ALOT.
IT WAS SPECTACULAR. INTERESTING. COOOOOL.
I juz luv the use of puppetry. AWEEESOME :)
You can go to The Fingers Players website to check it out! It's under 'Main season'.


http://www.fingerplayers.com/tfp.html


Watched 'New moon' for the movie. Not as whoa as expected from many. HA-HA.
Enjoyed myself today. It's like...... It's been long since I've felt like this.
Happy much :)
But I'm not going to think too much into it or else I'll fall into my own trap again.

Okay tomorrow's gonna be a looooong day! Sorry to decline a shopping invitation :(
Tomorrow's juz........ shingz. LOL! (omg i'm actually using 'shingz')

9am-12pm: CLDDS meeting
1pm-4pm: TSD R.A.M.M.P.S meeting
7pm-10pm: Church drama rehearsal

HAI. But it's okay. I somehow.. luv making myself busy and tired. At least... it keeps my mind off stuff.
Stuff. Silly stuff. Like, matters of the heart.
Silly silly silly. Silly me. Silly brain. Silly heart.
Okay. That's quite... silly, yea. HAHAHA.
Nvm. Nights people. I'm tired. Tired from good stuff like laughing a lot. Heh.

* Wanders off to dreamland :) *

Saranghajimayo

Thursday, December 03, 2009, 12:57 AM

kayajyo sodullo kayajyo
miryoni nunmuri dwel-teni
namgyojin keudae boji mothage
chom do sodullo kayajyo

uneyo ttona-neun sarangi
cha-oreun seulpeumi ssodajyo
hangoreum jo-cha kod-kido himdeuro
dorason chae
ulgoman so inneyo

sarangeun haji mayo
ibyori kkok ondaeyo
sum shwil sudo obshi apayo
sarangmankeum apeumyon twi-neun chulman
in-neun chulman arat-don gojyo
anijyo su-chonbae-neun do apayo

gobnayo nuntteugo sa-neun-ge
chajado boji mothal-teni
charari keudael keuriwohadaga
jichyo chamdeun chaero sa-neun-ge nat-jyo

sarangeun haji mayo

I have to leave, I have to hurry and leave
Affection will turn into tears
So that I can’t see the one I left behind
I have to hurry a bit more and leave
She is crying, the love that I leave
The overwhelming sadness is flowing
It is so difficult to take a step
With her back to me
She stands, crying

Don’t ever love
Heartbreak will surely come
It hurts to even breathe
I thought that this would only hurt
as much as I loved
But I was wrong
It hurts a thousand times more

I’m afraid of living with my eyes open
Because I know I won’t see you even if I look for you
It seems better to fall asleep exhausted
After longing for you

Don’t ever love
Heartbreak will surely come
It hurts to even breathe
I thought that this would only hurt
as much as I loved
But I was wrong. It hurts a thousand times more

Just once, one more time, can’t we try it? Can’t we?
I cry out like an idiot to myself

Don’t ever love
It hurts enough to die
You will cry every day
I told myself that when love comes again
that it would be easier and that it would last
But I was wrong. Not for my love
Not for me

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


My heart's crumbling.

I AM ONCE AGAIN, CONFUSED.
FML.

NEW LUV

Saturday, November 28, 2009, 8:11 PM

Seems like today I've been treating blogger like twitter, posting more than usual. Teehee!

I JUST FELL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE OH-SO-DASHING.
I luvvvvvvvvvvvv his smileeeeee :)
*Melting*
....................................................
*Drum rolls*

LEE HONG KI (이홍기)



KILLER SMILE OMG

Biography
Name: Lee HongKi
DOB: Mar 02 1990 (whoa, two years older! yay!)
Horoscope: Pisces (MY COMPATIBLE HOROSCOPE!! ^^)
Bloodtype: AB. (omg, same as me!!!)
Height: 176cm
Weight: 60kg
School: (SungJiGo School)
Hobby: Singing, Listening to Music, Soccer, Games (Board&internet), Cooking (he luvs to cook ~.~)
Family: Parents, younger sister, Hongki
Talents: Singing, Soccer
Nickname: (Cute Rebellion/Oppostion)
Best Points: Smiling Eyes (I so totally agree!)
Position in band: Lead vocal.
What I like: Besides pimiento I like all!! Whatever!! & I really really like things that make me palpitated.
Motto: Do I know it?
For my future love: "Let's try our best! If I can't do well, please understand & forgive me" (Everyone say "Aww...")















Get more from his Facebook fanpage: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lee-Hongki/34669136455?v=wall#/pages/Lee-Hongki/34669136455?ref=search&sid=695386913.3000009870..1

I'm sad he can't be connected to easily! He doesn't have twitter :( *Sigh*

Anyway, I THINK HE PWN GOO JUN PYO. I AM SO MUCH INTO HIMMMMM.

♥ LEE HONG KI ♥

If only there is someone like him in my life. AWWW. He is totally my type!!! ^_____^
Killer smile, eyes that speak, Pisces, loves to cook, loves to sing, older than me... Aww man!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't begin listing down all his whoa factors!!!!!!!!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

♥ LEE HONG KI ♥

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY:D

Labels: Lee Hong Ki

Distant news

7:03 PM

Recently, I overheard someone's conversation. Your name was inside.
She was talking about you. You smsing her all the time.
You do that all the time, do you? Smsing different girls all the time.
Right?
I tried to ignore those girls talking about you. I TRIED.
But just, when I chanced a upon someone's blog playing BOF's songs....
I can't help but think about you. You and whatever's happening to you now.
I know who you're smsing now. Not like I wanna know or bother to know.
It was just so coincidental!
You can't blame me. I didn't want to hear it.
But they were talking way too loudly.
Hello, in the PW room, how can things not be heard by others?
Whatever you know. Why is it always about you?!
OVERBOARD. SUCKERRRRRRRRRRR!!! I HATE UUUUUU!!!

Sometimes you really make me wonder if I made the right decision.
I shouldn't have accepted. You've gone too far.
I WANT A MEMORY ERASER.

Absolute boyfriend

4:59 PM

OMG THIS MANGA IS SO SO SO TOUCHING. I cried. Seriously.

Absolute Boyfriend
Riiko is a girl unlucky in love. One day a strange-looking salesman gives her a business card for a website that sells "love figures" (androids designed for love-making). On the spur of the moment and without really understanding the implications, Riiko orders one for a 3-day free trial. She forgets to return him before the deadline, and must then work out some way to return the one million debt she now owes without anyone discovering about this embarrassing secret.




HAI. After reading, I feel like getting a "boyfriend" like Night!!
Seriously he is DAMN SWEEEEET!!
Go read it! Visit: http://www.onemanga.com/Absolute_Boyfriend/

LOVERLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :)

PICTURES

Friday, November 27, 2009, 11:48 PM

I had been sooooooooo busy these few days I just had no time to blog!!!
Well. Not gonna wait any longer.
HERE COMES THE PICTURESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :D
*Disclaimer: More than a 100 pictures. May cause your computer to lag like crazy.*

09A06 Class BBQ ^^












Pris & WZ (with 'V' pose)


Pris & WZ (after Pris said: "Pls, no twist pose this time") LMAO!
















Mark the Guitarist


Shuyi the BBQ-ress of the year


Ruishan the pissed BBQ-ress






I LUVVV E FIRE!!


Ruishan being retarded as usual ohoho


Our heroes of the BBQ


LUV E SPARKS!


Pris trying to look shock at the gifts haha!





LUV THE BLUE FLAMES


Look at the two retarded ones behind (muahaha)


HAHAHA WENZHEN HAHAHA


Melody the ever-ready bunny




We luv playing cards :)


Steph the host


Poking thru e chicken wings


Trying to look evil but fail = =


Mel seriously ever-ready lol!


Omg scary


Still preparing the fire........


Hamid and Mel getting excited over e powdered fire starter!


Yay big fire~






MY FAVE SPARKS PICTURE




CARDSSSSS ^^






Priscilla the food giver


Look how charred it is!!


Susu the !?!@#?!@#! (figure it out yourself -.-)


Serious women looks good :)


Ooo cheezzz potato


Everyone tryna help


Yummm


Pray for the FIRST stick




Heavenly! "Like lollipops" they say!










Tabooooooooooooo moments!

Excited Fifi
























HILARIOUS


EH! NO GESTURING!


*Keeps arms in e air*




Panicking hahaha


HAHAHAHAHAHA






We just can't stop laughing at Rui!


Shuyi ganchiong haha!




Ngamkey lmao-ing








"Shh" says Afiqah








"Ya ya correct go on"






HOR! GESTURING!


Mark looks like he's holding WZ's bottle


HAHAHAHAHA WAD IS SUSU DOING?!










"Aiyo!"


"Hahahahahaaaa"








SCARIEST PICTURE OF THE YEAR






Trying to hide behind my beloved Jessica?!






























Susu..?





------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TSD SHOWCASES!!!








OMG


Butoh~


Pris's puppets


My puppets!


Chinese opera :D


BBOX SIGN


JOJ (before makeup)


Applying foundation




Looking fierce while putting on highlighting makeup


Moving on to lowlighting


Dressing room!


Oooo


Saying bimbotic cheer of Pris




Gay guys. Tsk.


Putting on makeup for Rui. I LOOK LIKE MY MUM.


Drawing the lines


Huge eyes VS Scary face




LUV E CHIO COLOURS


ROFL AT WZ


My "=.=" face


Creating my pretty boy..


Who became a pretty girl!!


Teehee!




SCARY NOT




Miss N on the go!










Look at Steph's face (in pain man!)


Before ppl came in...


















TGO posing for the camera!:D




Aww JOJ!!!








ON DRUGS LOL.


Shot 1


Shot 2


Act cute!


Act macho!


Act shocked!


My face! (aka -.- face)


The girls w/o Mel & Fifi


Bimbo~


Sexxyyy~


Monkey!


\m/






._.?


TGO! (The Great One)


Bestie :D


Smudged


Fifi & Izzy


WZ & Izzy


Ruirui & Pris


Steph & Izzy


Ruirui & Izzy


Izzy & Pris (bimbos for life)


Fifi & Pris


Izzy & I!


O.O




@ food culture


Lepak @ playground near tamp mall




OMG MY HAIR SO LONG ALR


Otw home w Rui and Izzy!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THAT'S ALL FOLKS. Now it's 2.02 am. I am not sleeping yet omg!!!
TATA~ Love TSD peeps! LOVE JOJ!!! LUVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV :D
Thanks for all these wonderful memories :D:D:D

NIGHTS!
XOXO

Labels: Pictures

Reminded of you

Sunday, November 22, 2009, 11:31 PM

I'm suddenly reminded of you again.
Recently, there's this random guy who randomly added me on a random place (I can't rmb where) and kept talking to me randomly.

It reminded me of.. you.

It was how we started. You added me and we talked.
Well, the only difference was, we knew each other personally, face-to-face.
*Sigh*

Sucker. Why did you just leave me like that? We were supposed to be GFFs! Ugh...........

AND NOW YOU EVEN HAVE A POST ON MY BLOG ABOUT YOU.
WIN ALREADY LOR.

...................... Oh well. I give up. Seriously.........................
Aiya. G2G. I WANNA SLEEP. NIGHTS PEEEEEOPLE.

Labels: reminded of you

Aspire

Saturday, November 21, 2009, 2:26 PM

She's my aspiration.

Judy Ngo

• Theatre Practitioner and Drama Educator
  

• Degree in Theatre Studies, National University of Singapore
  

• Teaching in Higher Education Certificate, Temasek Poly
  

• Learn from renowned international artists such as Anne Bogart (USA), Keith Johnstone (Canada), Richard Schenier (USA), Robert Draffin (Australia), Jacky Li (Macau), Jim Chim (Hong Kong), Prof Richard Emmert (Japan), Prof Ma Hui Tian (Beijing) and Zhou Qing Ming (Shanghai).
  

• Worked with theatre companies such as Zebra Crossing Productions, TheatreWorks, Toy Factory, The Necessary Stage, The Finger Players, Stages, W!LD Rice, The Theatre Practice and Action Theatre.
  

• Participated in productions “The Vagina Monologues”, “The Swordfish, then The Concubine”, “Pinocchio’s Complex”, “Chesty Nutty Bang Bang: The Hairspray of the Phoenix”, “Mad Forest” (won Best Ensemble for 8^th Life! Theatre Awards 2008), “I’m Just A Piano Teacher” (won Best Ensemble for 7^th Life! Theatre Awards 2007), “Connect the Dots”, “Lao Jiu – The Musical”, “Pulau”, “A Wandering Traveller – Descendants of the Eunuch Admiral” (won Best Ensemble for 4^th Life! Theatre Awards 2004), “Oleanna” (nominated for Best Actress Award for 3^rd DBS Life! Theatre Awards 2003), “Cat City”, “Hundred Years in Waiting”, “The Coffin Is Too Big For The Hole”, “Geylang People in the Net”, “I Have A Date With Spring” and many more.

Website: http://www.leeweisong.com/about/instructors/judy.htm

She's my secondary school Chinese Drama Club teacher!!!
Awesome actress. She's great in both English and Chinese theatre! That's what I admire the most. I totally aspire to be like her!!!

THEATRE FTW (Y)!